Since our wedding in 2014, my wife and I have read a number of marriage books. The best marriage books I’ve read have not only been entertaining, but they’re also challenged me to make improvements in areas where I have room to grow.
Because of this investment into our marriage, we’ve learned how to communicate without raising our voices, resolve money issues, understand each other’s needs, and so much more.
Looking back, my only desire is that we would have started reading marriage and relationship books while we were dating.
With that said, I’ve decided to share over 30 of the best marriage books for you and your partner to read no matter where you are in your relationship.
Best Books To Read While Dating
Relationship Goals by Michael Todd
Michael Todd is the Pastor of Transformation Church and author of this great book on dating, marriage, and sex.
“Relationship Goals” comes from his now-viral sermon series of the same name.
The book is filled with lots of relatable real-life examples that are delivered in a sometimes funny and sometimes challenging way.
Grab your copy below:
Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman
“Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage.”
Dr. Gary Chapman is passionate about helping couples develop the skills necessary to work together as teammates for life.
Too often we believe that feelings of love or even physical attraction are enough to sustain a marriage.
In this book, Dr. Chapman leads couples through heart-felt conversations designed to foster deeper connection and establish a framework for maintaining a fulfilling marriage.
Choosing God’s Best by Dr. Don Raunikarh
Choosing God’s Best is a great book for those wishing for something more than “casual dating” in their love life.
Dr. Raunikarh lays out how God intended relationships to be so that you’re empowered to do things His way.
This book is a must-read for singles who hope to someday find that special someone or for those in the dating world hoping to get it right.
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
This book is truly life-changing.
In “Boundaries”, Dr. Henry Cloud teaches us how to develop clear boundaries that are essential to all healthy relationships.
Boundaries are essential as you navigate the dating world and begin to develop romantic relationships.
Setting healthy boundaries actually frees people to be able to love and care for the people in their lives without feeling like a doormat and there is no better book to teach this than this one.
The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz
In The Mastery of Love, don Miguel Ruiz illuminates the fear-based beliefs and assumptions that undermine love and lead to suffering and drama in our relationships.
Using insightful stories to bring his message to life, Ruiz shows us how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that are our birthright, and store the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships.
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson
Conversations are a key component of any romantic relationship.
At the heart of almost all chronic problems in our relationships lie crucial conversations—ones that we’re either not holding or not holding well.
Crucial Conversations will teach you how to improve your interactions with the people who matter the most.
I highly recommend this book.
Top Books For Engaged Couples
Preparing Your Heart For Marriage by Gary Thomas
There are very few books written specifically for engaged couples.
“Preparing Your Heart For Marriage” is one of the best at preparing engaged couples for the challenges they’ll face in marriage.
This devotional is designed to encourage and guide you through the spiritual priorities and challenges that lie ahead in order to grow a joy-filled marriage filled with love, grace, and God’s blessing.
Each devotion is pretty short, however, the discussion points lead engaged couples into some truly transformational dialogue.
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott
I got to see Dr Les Parrott speak at one of my favorite marriage conferences and I instantly became a fan.
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (or SYMBIS for short) should be read by every engaged or newlywed couple.
This book will help you set healthy expectations for your marriage, discover the secret to resolving conflict, and even get your sex life off to a great start.
It’s one that I recommend to every engaged couple.
Be sure to grab the Men’s and Women’s Workbooks as well.
Boundaries In Marriage by Henry Cloud
This was the first marriage book my wife and I read together.
Our pre-marital counselor recommended it to us and we’ve referred back to the lessons we’ve learned in this book on numerous occasions.
“Boundaries in Marriage” will help you:
- Set and maintain personal boundaries and respect those of your spouse
- Establish values that form a godly structure and architecture for your marriage
- Protect your marriage from different kinds of “intruders”
- Work with a spouse who understands and values boundaries – or work with one who doesn’t
The Five Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman
This is probably the best-selling and most-talked about marriage book of all-time.
And for good reason.
Dr Gary Chapman teaches us how each partner expresses and experiences love.
This book will help prevent a lot of misunderstandings and unnecessary arguments in your marriage.
The Meaning Of Marriage by Timothy J Keller
“The Meaning of Marriage” offers simple instruction on how to have a successful marriage.
This book completely rewired the subtle and selfish ways I looked at relationships.
It doesn’t offer a five step plan for a great marriage, but, instead it’s a Bible based exploration of why God gave us marriage and what it means for everyone.
Grab your copy below:
Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
Straightforward in its approach, yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work.
Dr. Gottman has scientifically analyzed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behavior that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks.
He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship.
Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman’s workshops, this is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
Marriage Rules by Harriet Lerner
Marriage Rules is full of practical advice to help you navigate your relationship issues with clarity.
This marriage book gives readers more than one hundred rules that cover all the hot spots in long-term relationships.
Marriage Rules offers new relationship advice to age-old problems (“He won’t talk”/“She doesn’t want sex”) as well as modern ones (your partner’s relationship to technology).
If one person in a couple follows ten rules of his or her choice, it will generate a major, positive change.
All that’s required is a genuine wish for a better relationship and a willingness to practice.
Best Books For Newlyweds
Fun Loving You: Enjoying Your Marriage in the Midst of the Grind, by Ted Cunningham
Ted Cunningham has a surprising definition of marriage: a man and a woman enjoying life together.
He presents so many great ideas and questions for further deepening the quality of intimacy in your marriage and ways to really enjoy each other.
This makes the list of best marriage books because it will help you laugh together and always remember why your spouse is the most likable person you know.
The Normal Bar by Chrisanna Northrup
“The Normal Bar” is the first book to give readers a snapshot of what relationships look like from the inside.
From the real factors that sour marriages to what happens to passion as we grow older to which gender wants what when it comes to sex.
A gentle reminder before you grab this book: normal does not mean best.
Nevertheless, The Normal Bar is a fun read and it could provide you with a few ideas you hadn’t yet considered to take your relationship to the next level.
Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, by Dr. Kevin Leman
Dr. Kevin Leman offers a practical guide to sex according to God’s plan.
This frank and practical book is a perfect resource for married and engaged couples as Dr. Leman addresses a wide spectrum of people, from those with no sexual experiences to those with past sexual problems or even abuse.
Using frank descriptions, this book has a warm and friendly tone that will help couples overcome awkwardness in discussing an issue important to all married couples.
Toxic In-Laws by Susan Forward
This is a great book for newlyweds who have problems with in-laws to read together.
Susan Forward draws on real–life voices and stories of both women and men struggling to free themselves from the frustrating, hurtful, and infuriating relationships with their toxic in–laws.
Dr. Forward offers highly effective communication and behavioral techniques for getting through to partners who won’t or can’t stand up to their parents.
Next, she lays out accessible and practical ways to reclaim your marriage from your in–laws. She shows you what to say, what to do and what limits to set.
This is a great book for those who want to protect their marriage from toxic in-laws.
The Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler
We are inundated with songs, movies, and advice that contradicts God’s design for love, marriage, and sex.
Matt Chandler lays out God’s design for all three in “The Mingling of Souls”.
This is one newlywed couples should definitely read and discuss together.
Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage by Ed & Gaye Wheat
Intended for Pleasure is an easy-to-read book that combines biblical teaching on love and marriage with the latest medical information on sex and sexuality.
This popular book gently encourages married couples to make their sexual relationship the fulfilling experience it was meant to be.
This is a complete sex manual, with basic facts, illustrations, and frank discussion of all facets of human sexuality.
This book can truly help both parties in the relationship understand and enjoy the gift God intended for pleasure.
The Four Laws of Love by Jimmy Evans
Jimmy Evans outlines the foundational pillars upon which God designed marriage in this deeply personal book.
This book sounds a wake-up call for every kind of marriage, including those that are barely surviving and those that seem to operate on autopilot.
Couples who follow these simple guidelines ― recognizing the original intent and purpose of marriage―will inject new life into their unions.
The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm
Learning to love demands practice and concentration.
Even more than any other art, it demands genuine insight and understanding.
In this classic book, Erich Fromm explores love in all its aspects–not only romantic love, steeped in false conceptions and lofty expectations, but also love of parents, children, brotherly love, erotic love, self-love, and the love of God.
Books To Maintain A Happy Marriage
The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman
There will be times in your marriage when you get it wrong.
Yes- you will be wrong sometimes and when you are you’ll need to apologize to your spouse.
Just as you have a different love language, you both also hear and express the words and gestures of apology in a different language.
By helping people identify the languages of apology, this book clears the way toward healing and sustaining vital relationships.
Dr. Chapman details proven techniques for giving and receiving effective apologies in this marriage book.
#StayMarried A Couples Devotional by Michelle Peterson
Noone goes into marriage expecting to divorce, however, it happens often.
In #StayMarried, Michelle Peterson helps engaged and married couples strengthen their relationship with each other and God―in only 30 minutes a week.
Filled with inspiring scripture and thought-provoking questions, this is a great read for every couple serious about staying married.
The Naked Marriage by Dave & Ashley Willis
Having a “Naked Marriage’ is about much more than just nakedness in the bedroom (although that’s part of the fun).
It means being naked emotionally and spiritually as well as physically.
It also means undressing all the misconceptions our culture has used to cover God’s original, beautiful design for marriage and rediscovering all marriage can be.
You and your spouse can have a thriving, Naked Marriage with a lifetime of love and laughter together.
This book will show you how.
Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public in “Hold Me Tight”.
Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations.
Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love while reading this book.
Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love by Marcia Naomi Berger
Couples can make love last, says psychotherapist and clinical social worker Marcia Naomi Berger. They just need to learn how.
Her prescription is deceptively simple: have an interruption-free thirty-minute (or even shorter) meeting each week and follow an agenda that includes the kind of appreciation and planning for fun that foster intimacy and pave the way for collaborative conflict resolution.
With this book, you’ll learn how to effectively communicate and connect with your spouse each week, and for a lifetime, with step-by-step guidelines that walk you through the four parts of a marriage meeting: expressing appreciation, coordinating chores, planning for good times, and resolving problems.
The communication tips and techniques Berger has gleaned from helping hundreds of couples will guide you toward a deeper, more lasting love.
7 Days of Sex Challenge by Alisa Dilorenzo and Tony DiLorenzo
Life is stressful, but when you are too busy (or tired) to find time for sexual intimacy, it can seem unbearable.
The 7 Days of Sex Challenge provides a fun game-plan for busy couples like you to reboot your intimacy.
It eliminates the stress of figuring out what you need to do for 7 days that will be new and creative to try.
While you may try it to jump-start your sex life, you’ll enjoy it for the deeper connection it will foster.
Books To Help The Troubled Marriage
The Relationship Cure by John Gottman
“The Relationship Cure“ is a revolutionary five-step program for repairing troubled relationships.
Drawing on a host of powerful new studies, Dr. John Gottman offers new tools and insights for making your relationships thrive.
Packed with fascinating questionnaires and exercises developed in his therapy, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all of the relationships in your life.
Vertical Marriage by Dave and Anne Wilson
Written in a funny and highly relatable dialogue between both husband and wife, “Vertical Marriage” will guide you toward building a vibrant relationship at every level including communication, conflict, intimacy, and romance.
For anyone who is married, preparing for marriage, or desperate to save a relationship teetering on the edge of disaster, Dave and Ann offer hope and strategies that really work.
Vertical Marriage will give you the insight, applications, and inspiration to reconnect with God together and to transform your marriage to everything you hoped it would be.
What Did You Expect? Redeeming The Realities of Marriage by Paul David Tripp
The majority of couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations, leaving them unprepared for the day-to-day realities of married life.
“What Did You Expect?” presents six practical commitments that give shape and momentum to such a lifestyle.
These commitments, which include honestly facing sin, weakness, and failure; willingness to change; and embodying Christ’s love, will equip couples to develop a thriving, grace-based marriage in all circumstances and seasons of their relationship.
This is definitely one of the best marriage books available.
The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michele Wiener Davis
It is estimated that one of every three married couples struggles with problems associated with mismatched sexual desire.
If you want to stop fighting about sex and revitalize your intimate connection with your spouse, then you need this book.
In “The Sex-Starved Marriage“, bestselling author Michele Weiner Davis will help you understand why being complacent or bitter about ho-hum sex might cost you your relationship.
Full of moving firsthand accounts from couples who have struggled with the erosion of sexual desire and rebuilt their passionate connection, The Sex-Starved Marriage addresses every aspect of the sexual libido problem.
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman
Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort.
Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.
Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other.
You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before—and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve.
What do you think about this list of best marriage books?
Reach out to me on social media and let me know!
I’d love to hear from you.
